thedailyam

i’m back for now.

Hello everyone,

I have been missing around here for a while and that was because I wasn’t feeling like writing and that the point of why I created this blog was slowly disappearing.

My days have not gone very well. I have struggled with my irrational fears of being sick everyday and not too long ago I had anxiety attacks which once again interrupted my everyday life. The thing is that I have had enough of it and will try my best to change this situation.

My psychotherapist says that my body wants a change as well and that is exactly why my breath is giving me trouble. It’s been trying to tell me something for a long time now. Something I never wanted to listen, something I was too scared to listen.

I need to change my lifestyle. Yesterday I was boxing and hit that bag until I was full of bruises, shouting at everything that is going wrong. But I wasn’t really punching the boxing bag. It was punching me. I have let myself become so weak physically and mentally. It isn’t me. THIS IS NOT ME. I have lost so many kilograms over such a short amount of time and my body is exhausted.

I’m eating now, so much more than before. I am making decisions now, life changing ones And by now I mean yesterday, today and hopefully tomorrow.

 I don’t know what I want to do with my life, my school, my future, my friends and my loves yet but I know that tomorrow I want to go see a play in the Theater all by myself. Something new that I have never been courageous enough to do before. And I truly hope to do so.

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