I was never the person to share thoughts, passions, fears with anyone other than my grandmother. I always kept them caged inside like some kind of treasure. Not really being afraid to be judged but being afraid to deal with a bunch of people who knew and could use them to come close to me, lie to me, try to hurt me.
And now here I am. Writing on this blog about my fears. To say fear is to kind of decorate it with sparkles and tiny cupcakes. These are much more than fears. They have started to intrude in my decision-making process.
I am horrified of being alone, far away from people. It may sound strange in the ears of the one’s around me because they see me as an unfriendly type who doesn’t really like people a lot. And I can’t disagree, but can’t agree either. I sometimes feel the need to have people around to feel safe, to feel healthy, to feel alive. Crowds. I like crowds.
Alive. This brings a whole other fear. Sickness. Death. Now you’ll probably be thinking who doesn’t fear it? Why is she making such big deal out of this? Well, it is probably because I get scared for my life whenever something hurts; like a headache or a little cut in my hand. I freeze. I panic!
Before I wouldn’t say a word about my fears. I would hide them somewhere deep where people wouldn’t think of reaching. Now that I am trying to deal and get over them, I really feel the need to tell to anyone who listens and wants to know.
I think acknowledging and sharing your fears is an important step to overcoming them.
thedailyam’s question for you: “So what is it that you fear? Feel free to tell me what ir is and how you deal with it.”